Friday, March 18, 2011

Not Ready

That's right...sadly, I am not ready.

I have heard from more people than I care to admit, that with everything happening in Japan, we should be excited because it is a sign of Christ's returning.

How awful is that?

I feel sad....I want to live more of my life, accomplish more, see more, be more.
I want my kids to grow up, graduate college, get married and have babies.

I remember on 9/11 when I was pregnant thinking, what am I doing bringing a helpless baby into this terrible world. I ached with sadness over our choice to have a child. Of course I was being, well let's just blame it on the hormones! Ha!

But here I am again wondering is this the end? Will there be more signs? Will I ever have and see my grandchildren.

I know our days are not guaranteed....

Job 8:9 NIV 9 for we were born only yesterday and know nothing, and our days on earth are but a shadow.

And although I know this I am still greedily wanting more....more days to do the monotonous mundane things I do every day as well as many new and wonderful adventures!!

I wonder how people can be so excited for His coming. I mean I get it, but really are they ready to give up everything they have on Earth, for the unknown? I guess that is where we are different. My faith is obviously not as strong as other people. And although I know that my faith is definitely not as strong as it was 10 years ago, I remember having this fear of going "home" too soon since I was very little. I wanted to experience all that was offered on Earth.

I guess all I am saying is it doesn't matter what I want because He will, tomorrow, 200 years from now...SO I must enjoy what I am given every single day. Simple conclusion to such a difficult eternal dilemma.

1 comment:

  1. God knows our fears...He also knows His plan for our life. Living by faith allows us to be open to God's call on our life. Don't worry about rumors of end times. Walk by faith, God will help you enjoy your life to the fullest.