Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Not a Wordless Wednesday

It has been THAT day!
I wish I could say that "THAT" day was the definition of the best day ever.
I cannot say that...
...oh, and it is only 12:30pm.

You try me, my child.
My children, you test me in every area possible.
My character is forever changed from raising you.
You have shown me how much I can love another person.

I want to shout with the loudest boom
but that doesn't faze you.
I spank with an iron fist
you follow with screams, but continue doing the same.

You bring me to tears...currently and continuously.
You follow me into the bathroom
a place of privacy no longer.

You bring a smile to my face.
Those freckles make me giggle.
Hugs are frequent and needed.

I am tired from taking care of an infant all night. My emotions are on high because I am forcing my body to stop producing hormones are CRAZY and wondering what I am doing to my own body. I am happy for the first day of school, yet I am gonna miss my big helper every day. I feel taken advantage of. No one else is gonna do my job....because it IS MY JOB. I miss being happy, productive, healthy, satisfied. I miss Christ and having a church home.

I am in awe of this wonderful family I have. I still go into shock when I count how many kids I have! I have such great and friends. Being able to throw myself into hobbies makes "me" time so wonderful. Reading comments on my blog from perfect strangers makes me completely giddy!! Ha!

I need to focus on the important and what will make me happy again. I will not let my children define me completely. I will love on my husband and my kiddos and make the best of every single day.

Ahhhh. Getting all that out makes me feel so much better.

Breathe in, breathe out.

Another day is coming.


  1. ASHLEY! If there is anything I can help you do or WHATEVER please don't hesitate! I will come and take care of owen or do your laundry so you can nap...just let me know! Or maybe we could just do lunch one day and chat! I always need some grown up chat... :D

  2. Being a child of God, a wife and a Mother is overwhelming, and this woman in 2010 may think that the job is un-doable. Read Prov 31:9-31. It describes God's definition of a Godly Wife and Mother.I don't think there are enough hours in the day!! However, verse 31 makes it all worthwhile: 31 Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate (heaven's gate).
    You are earning that reward, and that makes it all worthwhile.

    We love you, and you are doing a great job!

  3. Oh man, I think you just described my week last week. It's so crazy how Motherhood can be such a roller coaster of emotions. Hardest job I've ever had, and also the most rewarding. I'm glad you still get some "me" time - so important. And, it looks like you have some good friends to help you. Take a deep breath and keep trucking away. You'll make it! Look at those four happy kiddos and know that it is worth it!

  4. Well. You just put my day in perspective. I have been having one of those days - actually one of those weeks. But I don't have 4 kids. Or a baby keeping me up at night (my hormones do that). Hang in there.