Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Too Heavy

I've been very reflective sad lately about the fact that I have had my last baby.  I see my biggest boy, Aidan...who is ALMOST taller than me, and I can't believe he is so "grown".  I see Finley...just maturing like imaginative.  But Breslyn...oh, how my heart aches to think of her going to Kindergarten so stinking soon {in 10 short months}!  I will not say how many times I've already cried gallons of salty tears over her going to BIG school.  And then there is baby....he is using so many new words, phrases, asserting himself, becoming independent and....HEAVY.  That is when I know for sure that they are getting too big too fast.  When I go to lift them, and I feel the heavy weight of their body.

I can remember it clearly when Finn was just too big...his little but strong body rejected my arms at age 3.  Breslyn is too big at 4...sometimes she rides on my back when I take her to bed.  Every time my heart hurts.  But last night when I scooped up Owen I realized, as he chattered away, that it's almost time.  He will get there fast.

I can't imagine what my life will be like when I am no longer carrying a baby, or rocking a baby, or caring for a baby.  I see time flying by...soon I won't have any kids at home.  The thought of having them all in school just BREAKS.MY.HEART!

I love babies, and I'm sad that that season of my life is fact I might be mourning the loss.

Lucky for me my bestie WILL be having another child (God-willing) and my awesome SIL will be having TRIPLETS soon.  I CAN'T WAIT!!!  I wish Melony (the SIL) lived closer so I could steal watch a baby or two to "help" her care for them!!

We are headed to the pumpkin patch...another photo op to capture sweet memories of all my "B.A.B.I.E.S." :)


1 comment:

  1. With every milestone, it becomes harder. They are your life for a while, then they develope their own life. It hurts, but you discover yourself as well. You're a good Mommy, enjoy it while you can.