And GRACE, My FEARS Relieved

Today was the big day....our trip to the Hematologist. I was so nervous, worried, upset...pick a word...that's what I was. I knew deep down that nothing was wrong with my O-bug, BUT what if there was? Bit of a contradiction, huh? Here we are walking through Cook Children's Specialty Clinic. Can you see the muffled panic in my face? No? Good!!

Joey was full of funny jokes and wouldn't let me focus on what was to come. He was patient and brave and I needed that more than anything.

When we came to the elevator and I checked our floor on the sign I began to realize what we were doing there. I did not like this...not one little bit. On the board you can see...Hematology and Oncology are together...blood problems and CANCER TOGETHER IN THE SAME WAITING AREA. My heart dropped more.

Unfortunately Owen wasn't in the best mood. He was cranky and hungry. I hope he couldn't feel the extreme tension exuding from me.

As we sat there we saw numerous children with cancer. I hate that word. I sat next to a girl of around 19 who had cancer. I curiously watched two little boys play....both suffering from that C word. I was not at all prepared for this. I assumed it would be a semi-empty waiting room, filled with a few toys and some chairs....not a room full of moms, dads and sick children...after all, we were just there to "talk" to a doctor. I was barely able to hold it together...and in fact I may have shed a few tears. I believe the tears were more for the other families I was watching than for Owen.

We went back for a few minutes to take his vitals....blood pressure, weight {13lbs...whoohoo}, temp and he got this fancy little anklet!! So cute and shiny!!

We went back and waited a little while longer and then we were called back to meet with the doctor. She talked and talked and explained and explained. She focused on Sickle Cell, which I knew he didn't have, but the way she went on and on I thought maybe he might. Finally she moved on and gave us her professional opinion. She believes there is nothing wrong with our little man!! Hallelujah!! He has a variant Hemoglobin of some sort. It could (and probably in our case) cause no change in life or it could be very severe. He could also be anemic. Because we do not have any history of anemia or any other attributes (diseases) in our families, she believes Owen will be fine. They did take blood...to check for anemia and the other more significant tests. We should know by tomorrow if he is anemic....and in 7-10 days we will find out about the other results. I am not concerned.....to say I am not worried at all would be a lie, but I feel better. My son is okay.

As I sat to type this I did not immediately think of the song Amazing Grace...just one line stuck out....hence the title, and then I realized what song it belonged to. But that song fits my feelings on the day:

T'was Grace that taught...
my heart to fear.
And Grace, my fears relieved.
How precious did that Grace appear...
the hour I first believed.

Through many dangers, toils and snares...
we have already come.
T'was Grace that brought us safe thus far...
and Grace will lead us home.

The Lord has promised good to me...
His word my hope secures.
He will my shield and portion be...
as long as life endures.

Thank you Lord for the wonderful, reassuring news we received today. Please Lord, continue to watch over our children and keep them in good health all their days.