There are so many days I wonder if I can do it all. Or can I do it ALL the way I want it done.
There are days when B will go without getting dressed all day, and if she is dressed I might not even have bows in her hair. Or today for example, she fell and scraped her leg....did I have a band aid like a good mother would? Oh no..I..HAD..nothing.
Aidan and Finley have both gone to ball practices (and games) and have come up to me afterward and asked if they could have their drinks. Um...what? What drinks? Did I remember to bring them some water or Gatorade? Of course i didn't. What a bad momma!!
I've had 3 weeks worth of coupons just sitting waiting to be clipped...I just got to them yesterday. Oh and don't even get me started on the GINORMOUS PILE of mail screaming out my name that I haven't touched...geez, I hope there isn't something important in there!!! haha!
Oh, how about all the thank you notes I haven't written yet....yes, thank you notes for B's birthday party, for meals brought to us during those first few weeks Owen was home, and numerous others!
I have been trying (for months) to get a plan ready for this summer. I wanted to have all these great ideas for the kids to participate in this summer...going to new parks, having a picnic, attending VBS at numerous churches, etc. But have I gotten this list ready...no...failing grade...again. :(
And please don't be grossed out by the fact that I haven't cleaned a toilet or dusted in weeks. Eeeeek!! Some days I don't even get a freakin' shower!! Man the pressure is really getting to me...I know..."this too shall pass" but I am here, now, dragging on, barely making it, struggling, wondering when it will all go back to normal.
I just want to enjoy every single moment of life with my husband, children, family and friends...and not feel like I am shortchanging ANY of them in the process. Hmmm....moving on to another Monday! :)
Ashley~ I can definitely relate to what you're saying here. Some days I just want to pull my hair out because I can't do everything I want to, the way I want to. It's usually those times when I get so overwhelmed that the Lord gently reminds me thru my children to chill a little.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I felt horrible. After being on the go all day with the kids, I noticed that my son's shirt had been on backwards the entire day as I was heating up a can of spaghettios to feed them for dinner (for the second night in a row) at 8:00 p.m. I was standing there by the microwave waiting on the dinner to be ready (ugh!) thinking about all the ways I'm probably messing up my kids, when my son came in carrying a little bouquet of flowers (weeds) in a "pop can vase". I was reminded again that backwards clothes and spaghettios won't hurt them too badly because I do one thing pretty darn well. I love my kids with all my heart and they know it. And in return they are loving and kind. That's really all that matters in the long run. Not the dust or dirty toilet or pile of mail or anything else.
Hang in there! You and your babies will be just fine!
Oh man, I can relate to this too! I am a perfectionist and think my house always needs to be perfect, my children perfectly dressed, a hot meal on the table when my husband gets home, and everything in good order. It used to embarass me when people would come over and my house wasn't perfectly clean. But, I've come to understand that the only person who demands perfection from me is me. The kids could care less how long it has been since I dusted, and my husband and friends love me even if the living room isn't picked up. I have to remind myself that I am raising kids and not a house. And, if it comes down to a choice between a clean house or happy kids, then I am going to choose to let the house go. I know it can be frustrating at times, but you'll get to those other things eventually! Hang in there!
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